If we were sitting across from each other right now I’d tell you something I rarely talked about a few years ago.
There was a time when I felt like I was constantly running—mentally, emotionally, and physically. From work deadlines to people-pleasing, from scrolling mindlessly at 2 AM to saying “yes” when I meant “no,” my life was full… but not fulfilling.
And while I didn’t have a dramatic breakdown (thankfully), I was slowly wearing myself out.
So, I decided to pause. And I started changing a few small things. No, I didn’t move to the mountains or meditate for 10 hours a day. But these 5 things I did drastically changed how I feel inside my head—and my heart.
Let me walk you through them.
1. Started Saying ‘No’ Without Guilt
This might sound obvious, but trust me—if you’re a people-pleaser like I was, you know how tough it is.
I used to say yes to every plan, every extra task at work, and even to random late-night phone calls when all I wanted was to crash. Somewhere along the line, I thought being nice meant being available always.
But here’s the thing: when you constantly show up for others but not for yourself, it starts building silent resentment—and eventually, burnout.
One day, I simply said, “Hey, I can’t make it today.” That was it. No long excuse. No made-up emergency. Just honesty. And it felt like such a relief.
Now, I remind myself of this quote from author Anne Lamott:
“No is a complete sentence.”
The more I practiced it, the more peaceful I felt. Saying no is not rude—it’s respectful. Especially when it’s to protect your mental energy.
2. Built a Tiny Morning Routine (That Had Nothing to Do With Productivity)
I used to wake up and instantly check my phone. Emails, Instagram, WhatsApp—it was like inviting 20 people into my room before I even brushed my teeth.
Then I read somewhere: “How you start your morning often shapes your entire day.” It hit me.
So I did something new: I created a morning routine. Not one of those aesthetic, two-hour ones with matcha and yoga. Mine was super simple:
- Sit on the balcony with tea
- Write 3 things I was grateful for in a notebook
- Play one happy song while brushing
That’s it. Ten minutes max.
But those ten minutes were mine. No screens. No work. Just peace. Over time, that stillness in the morning made me less reactive and more grounded throughout the day.
3. Started Therapy (And Realized It’s Not Just for “Broken” People)
I resisted therapy for years. I used to think, “I’m not going through a crisis—I’m just stressed.”
But then came a phase where I felt stuck. I wasn’t sad every day, but I wasn’t truly happy either. So I gave therapy a try.
And wow.
It was like taking out mental garbage I didn’t even realize I was carrying. My therapist didn’t give me magical advice or life hacks. She just helped me understand me—my patterns, my fears, my triggers.
It wasn’t dramatic. It was gentle. Like finally exhaling after holding your breath too long.
Even just five sessions helped me build better boundaries, understand my emotions, and be kinder to myself.
So if you’ve been wondering whether you “need” therapy… maybe just try one session. You don’t have to be broken to want better.
4. Unfollowed People Who Didn’t Make Me Feel Good (Even the Inspiring Ones)
Okay, confession time: I love Instagram. I really do.
But somewhere along the way, I realized that even though I was following motivational pages, wellness influencers, and productivity coaches—they often left me feeling worse about myself.
Why? Because comparison sneaks in like a thief. You see someone else waking up at 5 AM, building six-figure businesses, traveling the world—and you start feeling small. Not good enough.
So I did a digital detox. Not a dramatic one. Just started unfollowing anyone whose posts didn’t spark joy or peace. Even if they were “inspirational.”
Now my feed is full of art, pets, nature reels, and real people talking about real stuff.
Your mental space matters as much as your physical one. Curate it like you would your home.
5. Replaced Self-Judgment With Self-Talk (And It Changed Everything)
This was the hardest one. And the most healing.
I didn’t realize how often I spoke to myself like a bully:
- “You’re so lazy.”
- “Why can’t you be like others?”
- “You mess up everything.”
It was exhausting.
Then, one day, I imagined saying those things to my closest friend. I couldn’t. So why was I okay saying them to myself?
So I started talking to myself like I’d talk to someone I love.
Instead of “You’re so lazy,” I said, “You’re tired. It’s okay to rest.”
Instead of “You’re messing it all up,” I said, “You’re trying your best. That counts.”
This shift didn’t happen overnight. But I stuck to it. And slowly, my inner critic turned into an inner coach.
Final Thoughts
Improving mental health doesn’t have to mean massive changes. Honestly, the most powerful shifts are usually the simplest.
What worked for me might not work exactly the same for you. But maybe it sparks something. Maybe tonight, you’ll put your phone aside a little earlier. Or say no to something that drains you. Or talk a bit kinder to yourself.
Mental health is not a one-time fix. It’s a relationship—with yourself. And like all relationships, it needs time, attention, and kindness.
Thanks for sharing this tea break with me.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing better than you think.
And if you liked this post, please also follow our insta handle for you daily dose of motivation: @breakthatspace
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